What do you do?

okay so... i have really strict parents. culture & religion all ties in greatly with my family. my mother is reasonable, all i have to do is talk to her and we build an understanding. she's always willing to negotiate with me. my father, however, he's another story. there's no talking to him; i've tried a million times. we just never come to an understanding about ANYTHING. if any female has an arabic father & you're reading this right now...you know exactly what im going to say. he's just downright coldhearted. he's never shown any kind of sympathy or love towards me. i just have to do what im told & his word is always the last word. now, me being the person that i am & raised out here in america (thank god)..i dont agree with it and we constantly fight because of our different beliefs. yes, he gives me a roof over my head; food & water; but thats all basic needs. YOU HAVE TO DO THAT AS A PARENT. i jus finished my second yr of college & should be graduating sometime this yr & movin on to continue so i can get a masters degree.. im halfway there. im 19 yrs old. i do great in school; i dont smoke; i dont drink often. im not braggin or anythin but shyt; i dont get any kind of recognition for anything good that i do. he doesnt want me dating; he wants to choose the man im going to marry...like, that's just ridiculous. I'm glad i dont have one those OD strict fathers who wont even let me go to the grocery store down the block; but that might as well be the case if he has to have me home early; know who im with @ all times; where i am @ all times...its like..LET ME BREATHE! im 19 yrs old, not 10. he's never done nuttin for me; we have such a bad history..i just feel like; you didnt worry so much about me then; why worry now when im old enough to take care of myself? half of the time; i really dont bother to listen to him but i can't od & stay out all night either because im afraid of what he'll do.

im so thankful i have my mother here to defend me & stand up for me. shes my hero but there's only so much she can do though. Some say i should rebel, some say i should deal with it now & when im financially stable & ready to be on my own...then i leave & do my own thing. I used to be such a bad ass when i was younger; me & my father went as far as calling the cops on each other, beating me up, or trapping me in the house. Nothing good came out of it. I always intended on finishing school & starting a career and gettin the hell out of here..but its hard when it feels so far away. its like im suffocating in this hell house of mine. one of these days im just gonna snap. Arab girls: you know damn well if you leave, you'll live your own life but you aint comin back & will probably never see your family again. you also know damn well if you rebel, you'll suffer from physical & mental abuse & they'll do everything in their power to trap you even more @ home....so what do you do? Run & hope you're life works out or risk the chance of gettin the phsycial & mental abuse & eventually going insane? literally..

Those of you who dont have a clue of what im talking about, search up HONOR KILLINGS on google or yahoo. i'll leave a link @ the bottom. these killings/suicides dont happen as often but it does still exist today. my situation is nothing compared to theirs. my heart goes out to them =[.

Anywho; sorry this was long...but thanks for taking the time out & reading this.<3

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_killing

i have not updated in the longest. its 4:37 a.m. here & im bored as hell. i just decided i would put up a post since its been forever. i fixed up the page a bit since it was gettin old, added some new photos n stuffs. im so excited for school to begin. im takin up chemistry & tech this semister, so wish me luck! im nervous about failin this class since i heard it was hard =\ ..this summer was great except for the shitty weather we've been havin which was mostly rain. ive been to the beach only about twice and that's not normal for me, lolsz. my sis zara is still on vacation but she's finally comin home soon! i cannot wait for her to come back!! i recently made a facebook. lmao no one thought i would ever do it but i've crossed over to the dark side finally -_-. its alright...i just hate how you can't make your facebook page ; its all plain and white. bleh. i also went to karaoke recently with friends...definitely had tons of fun. ill put the link to my youtube if you wanna see videos, so get @ me there. i wanna go bowlin tho..been dyin to go! anyways.. lol.. hmm, i also saw district 9 last night. the film was awesome, really good. so if you readin this & havent seen it, go see it!! you can watch every trailer & think what you want (alien haters) but the movie is nothing like what you see in the trailers. go see it, you will enjoy it. im also excited; im goin shoppin this week. i need some fall clothes for school & my baby's buyin me some coach shoes that i've wanted for the longest...love him & i love him more for it! hehe. && i also just wanna be with my fam/friends as much as i can before school starts. i know its gonna get hectic this year; im doin fieldwork & goin to be travelin to schools in the area to work with children...exciting but also nerve-racking! soo yea; it would be nice to see them as much as i can since im gonna be busy busy these next two semisters. im doin really good in school, i should be gettin my associates degree by the end of this year and then im gonna be transferin over to brooklyn college soon. again, exciting but also nerve-racking!! lol. i hear they make you choose 2 majors over there, talk about more work! lol. but anywho; im blabbin off now. im cut this from gettin any longer; ill be back soon to update (hopefully). take care, bloggers!

SHORT HAIR =]

http://www.youtube.com/xmiszrinax
s u b s c r i b e .

=[

R.I.P. Michael Jackson.

The King of Pop & Music itself.<3

its about time i speak up on some shyt.
how you mistreat me sometimes when u be catchin a fit.
makin me feel so weak & useless.
come on, i know im not new to this..
but you can keep doing this..
constantly puttin the blame on me;
fightin me, gettin crazy with me & bein spiteful to me.
gettin ya moms involved wen u dont wanna speak..
even sometimes callin me weak..
ive been around; ive dealt with it all.
if anythin, im massively strong.
but you...idk about you..cant even admit when ur wrong.
pride wont let you show it but i know you know it.
got me pullin my hair out; weight shiftin; & my brain keeps thinkin.
its like i talk but you aint ever listening.
picture this; a yr or 2 from now; u constantly goin..
u think ill be around?baby you needa stop before you really push me away.
or maybe you need to just watch what you say.
sometimes you make me want to leave..
but i wont do nuttin irrational; so i stay & i let it be.
hope for things to work out & most of the time they do.
but this time you got me real deep into my thoughts..god...i fuckin want this to all stop!
got me goin crazy with this unncessary bullshyt.
got me lookin like a fool wit the way you handlin shyt.
time after time, everyone told me to leave you
but time after time, i stayed because i love you
but now it seems that love aint cuttin it.
it just aint enough.
im tryna release this stress; im tryna stay tough..
but you got me breakin down like a child wantin juice in his cup.
maybe us was a mistake or maybe we jus need a break.
im so lost. i dunno what to think or do anymore
i just know i cant keep going like this no more.
but i dont want this to be the end.
i thought you loved me, what happened then?
my heart fuckin hurts & truth be told; im so fuckin hurt.
got me rhymin this shyt out ; feelin like i been played out.
maybe its best you leave.
if not, then baby work with me here...



*just some thoughts...

`SAGITTARIUS*

November 22 - December 21

Symbol - The Archer.

Element - Fire.

Favorable Colors - Purple & Blue.

Key Body Parts - Hips & Thighs.

Ruling Planet - Jupiter.

House Ruled - Ninth.

Opposite Sign - Gemini.

Soulmate Sign - Aries.

Lucky Gem - Turquoise.

Personality Traits include:

Independent, Opitimistic, Honest, Friendly, Driven, Free-Wheeling, Free Spirit, Casual, Good Humored, Forthright, Philosophical, Loyal, Restless, Adventurous, Intuitive, Can Be Self-Righteous, Rebellious, Irresponsible, Careless, Superficial, Impulsive, Outspoken, Candid, Determined, Hard-working, Stubborn, Intelligent.

Famous Sagittarians:

Frank Sinatra, Steven Spielberg, Tina Turner, Britney Spears, Walt Disney, Joe DiMaggio, Beethoven, Mark Twain, Woody Allen, Brad Pitt, Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Frank Zappa, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison.

The Sagittarius Baby:

The Sagittarius baby will surprise you with just how speedily he or she seems to learn to crawl out of their play pen and start clambering on everything and anything they can find.

Sagittarius children are the most physically adventurous of the zodiac, and often will be walking with confidence long before their peers. They are also hungry little people and you wonder where they put all that food until you see the sheer energy it takes to keep up with them! One of Sagittarius’ most endearing characteristics is their absolute honesty.

They are inquisitive and playful so you can expect to find all sorts of interesting doodles on your best furniture as well new uses for your most expensive cosmetics. However, as soon as they have redecorated your bedroom they will be so cute in how they tell you exactly what they have done that you will find it impossible not to smile.

hi fellow bloggers. =]

I'll start by introducin' myself. Name'sz Marina but everyone knows me as Rina. I've been hearin about this site for the longest especially from my homegirl susana. Shout outs to you, chicka! lolsz. So yeah, I jus decided to make one for the fun of it. We'll see how this goes :].

So..the past few days have been very interesting for me. Saw alot of peoples' true colors & i've just decided to turn over a new leaf finally. I've lost too many so called "best friends" & it just recently took a toll on me because if I'm close wit someone; I already consider 'em family. So to see them go makes me angry & it really upsets me. Anywho, my boyfriend says I put people before me all the time and its not healthy. So I'm gonna start focusing on myself and do what's best for me for now. Take a little time for myself. =] Truthfully, I dont even know how this is gonna happen cause I've never done this before but its worth a shot. In the end of it all, karma's a bitch and that's all I gotta say :)

I spent the day with my man mostly. We both didn't get enough sleep last night so we kinda slept through the whole day, lolsz. I know, we're such bums =P. We saw Slumdog Millionare though, it was pretty good. Typical indian film but you know, it wasn't bad at all. Yesterday was our anniversary too. We made 1 year & 9 months hehe. I love him so much.<3 face="arial">


-'`Rina.*

JUST OUR BEGINNING Y